LESBIAN COCK (DILDO) BLOCKER

I used to got the club more frequently when I was single and had many revolving door lesbian friends.

Revolving Door Friend = A lesbian friend who you don’t actually have a true friendship with. You only text or call them when you goto the club so you can roll with a crew. You do not do any other activities with them like a regular friend, such as shooting pool or going out to eat. These types of friends are only to accompany you to the club with.

Most of my revolving door lesbian friends would participate in activity called cock blocking., this why they have been revolved out. Strait dudes know what I’m talking about, the pointless art of fucking up your friends chaces of getting laid. Even when you’re in a relationship this is still possible, especially because getting laid isn’t always a given. Jealous friends love doing this for two main reasons, they either want to get down your pants or they wanna get with who you wanna get with. Outliers being that they haven’t gotten any in a long ass time and are mad you got some first.

1. Your friend is dancing all up on you in a flirty suggestive manner. Deterring other people from hitting on you and making others think your taken. This cockblocking before you even wet your whistle. Guaranteeing that you won’t be able to meet anyone for the rest of the night. They don’t care if they themselves don’t get any, but as long as you don’t.

2. Your friend acts stupid and obnoxious around you at the club. She’s mad loud for no reason. Gets drunk and gropes random people while falling all over the damn place. Possibly takes off her shoes on the dance floor but with socks still on then and/or, gets up on the stripper pole and starts to dance badly. Random onlookers ask is you know her and you mumble yes. You think it’s funny at first until she takes off her socks too. Then you must proceed to the exit and go have a pack of cigarettes, yes a whole pack.

3. Ok and there’s the subject of cheating. It wasn’t technically cheating because we broke up before I got to technically cheat. But was totally hitting it off with some girl , chatting at the bar after I bought her a drink. My revolving door friend comes up and goes, hey what’s going on here, what about, “insert girl (ex) girls name”. Lucky for me I already told the bitch I was involved, but she still wanted to date me LOL. So the cock block didn’t even work. So bottom line, cheat when cockblockers are not around or just have game so good it doesn’t even matter.

4. When you aren’t around they tell your significant other about bad shit you do. And or try to get into your girl’s pants. WTF, don’t cry to my chick, or explain your sad ass life. Keep you sappy shit to yourself. If your gonna come over and eat the food I pay for, don’t try to steal my wife too. Fuck off loser.

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